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#wheelchair#multiplesclerosis#beawareofyoursurroundings#watchyourwords#snhusmm#etiquette#talktothepersonnotthedisability
One day several years ago, when my husband and I took our children to a local amusement park, we witnessed an example of extremely rude behavior. At the time, it shocked me into dumbfounded silence, now I would like to recount the experience here so that hopefully nobody has to experience the same thing as I did. I’m sharing an essay from my as book, Living with Multiple Sclerosis: The Ripple Effect.
It happened one summer when our children were about 8 and 4 and we had taken them to a small amusement park about an hour from our home to spend the day. It just so happened that this family theme park doesn’t charge admission for persons in wheelchairs. Steve and the kids went in the gates, showing their season passes, while I stood back for a park employee to open the gate for me. It just so happened that a large group was behind me. Judging from their matching t-shirts, it was a family reunion. The eldest gentleman in the group loudly remarked,
“Boy, I wish I was in a wheelchair so I could get in for free!”
The words alone didn’t disturb me, but the fact that he was surrounded by his adult children and young grandchildren did. I was shocked that he would say something so blatantly prejudiced against all handicapped visitors to the park. He voiced his statement rather loudly, so that his entire family of about 20 people could hear. If I had my wits about me, I would have said something along the lines of,
“I will gladly trade my wheelchair for your legs any time.”
But unfortunately I didn’t think of saying that until much later, when the man was not around. A few of his adult children acted embarrassed by his words, and offered me a shrug of their shoulders and a sympathetic smile. I would have felt much better about the entire incident had one of his adult children taken the time to point out to the eight or nine children that were with the group the fact that their grandfather was wrong for saying what he did. That was a teachable moment that was lost. I vowed to myself not to let moments such as this to slip by without making a comment. Not necessarily a rude comment, but something to say so that other people will know not to say those types of things.
I think back now to that day, and I realize the gentleman didn’t mean to sound prejudiced toward the handicapped community. At least I hope he didn’t mean to announce publicly his ignorance of the situation. I realize now that he was probably simply making an off-hand remark in an attempt at humor. The truth is that all of us should be aware of what we are saying, and who could be listening. Yes, I’m disappointed that one of the adults in the group didn’t take the time to point out the rudeness of the comment to the children in the group. Maybe they did, just out my hearing.
In closing remarks, I simply want to say that not all handicapped individuals need assistance, but if they ask for it, please offer assistance in the kindest way possible, and with graciousness. We are not the sum of our disabilities, but rather our disabilities make up a small part of who we are!
If you have ever encountered someone with no regard for another person’s handicaps, please leave a comment below and tell me how it was handled.
adaptivelywritten 